Beyond Good and Evil

#Learning
18th Sun of the 10th Moon Cycle

For the first time I'm reading Friedrich Nietzsche. I had a hard time spelling it earlier but now I have it memorized. His name I mean.

All the same it's been a hard "read" (I'm listening to it actually on Spotify). It's a mix of his elaborate language, and his extensive need to flex his French and Latin in the book that makes it so difficult to follow at times. Of course he's using phrases popularized in those cultures, but it feels self indulgent - which of course is a judgement on my end that challenges my ignorance and therefore is taken personally. All the same, what I'm finding from his mind is his need to declare the evils of hypocrisy in other Philosophers while practicing his own version of the same.

So far I'm hearing his belief that the driving force behind the self is the Will to Power. We will for power - that everything we do- especially those most fortunate (predestined as he says). Which makes me confused. He detrements the idea of scientific observation, the need for truth, and where our need for truth or our aversion to untruth comes from. He says it's one of our greatest sins to ask these questions. That the Will to Power is the focus of our lives.

This is a judgement coming and there is unfairness in it; I feel reluctant to take life advise from an individual whose works are used by fascists and nationalists. Though it isn't true that an evil force weaponizing the words and thoughts of another make the source of those thoughts and words evil. However, what it does seem to uncover in my mind is the idea that text weaponized for evil (a concept foreign to Nietzsche's teachings, meaning the existence of evil itself), is lacking equilibrium in it's essence or missing context entirely from it's foundations. For example the Bible is riddled with contradictions, it is nearly the most susceptible piece of literature to the concept of weaponization, not due to it's sources or it's themes but due to it's inconsistencies.

I wonder if Nietzsche's works, as they were structured and edited by his late sister, were streamed through his consciousness, where his logical and rational filters were abandoned for the sake of wholeness which instead uncovers the contradictory of rational and the driving feelings. Often a distain of a concept is a disdain for it's role against our own concepts of identity - I say this dogmatically but I do believe it as I say it - maybe my mind will change later.

Sometimes I think to myself that we Will for Wholeness. Simple as Maslow's hierarchy of needs, we desire for Self-Actualization. We yearn for independence for wholeness of self while yearning for community for the same. We as either the isolated consciousnesses of God, or the carbon that yearns to merge with itself until all is one - want to know others in it's power to know ourselfs and become whole.
Will to Self-Actualization I guess.

My core interpretations of the world and humanity directly contradict the concepts of Nietzsche and therefore I find myself reluctant to listen. Which is fair and unfair all at once and I'm sure it will remain so - I will continue to challenge myself to understand his concepts in wholeness - while also remaining independent of his mind with my own beliefs in hand. I am partial to the belief of Locke, that we as humans are innately good - and I mean that as I say it. I am partial to it. I am not of the belief it is the most true, as I don't believe it is substantiate it. I merely choose to be ignorant of further for the sake of my own desire to be kind and to assume good intentions of others as we interact. Until further proven that this is not beneficial to my psyche, I will continue to hold onto this belief for my own good.